newdaddy's Momaroo

Happy Birthday!!!

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 04:36:05 GMT

Yup, today was my marriage's first birthday. This time a year ago, I was lying in bed in a Marriott in Trumbull, CT with my new bride, spending our first night as husband and wife wrapped in each other's arms. The sleeping situation hasn't changed much, but the existence of this blog is proof enough that some things have . About a week ago, a friend of mine who got married at the end of July asked me if "it's true what they say," about the first year of marriage being the hardest. I knew statistically, the 18-20th years are actually the most unhappy due to the beginning of empty nest, but all I said was if the first year is the hardest, I can't wait to see what the next few years are like, or the next 50 for that matter.

The first thing we learned about anniversaries is YEAR OLD WEDDING CAKE TASTES LIKE CRAP!!!! Yeah, we each had about a half a bite and tasted everything that's been in our freezer for the past year. Needless to say, the top of our cake is now hanging out in the garbage. The rest of the day went well- my class got canceled, so we sat and watched the first karate kid movie. I took her to a 50s' diner for dinner- it's kind of been our thing ever since I proposed to her in one- then we watched parts 2 and 3 of the Karate Kid. It was a pretty fantastic day. Newbaby had his first experience with a babysitter- for about an hour- and most likely his last for many months. He was fine, but we were nervous the whole time. All in all, it was a great day, and a great year.

Still looking for cloth diapers for Newbaby- we don't want the rectangular ones, but they're only the ones we can find. If anyone knows where we can find the kind that look like real diapers and don't require pinning, please let us know.

Happy my anniversary, everyone.

Possible good news

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 05:18:02 GMT

I am so thankful for my sister. Mom told her about the IUD issues, and she called me tonight. Apparently she'd been doing a bunch of research and she found a NC state-sponsored program that assists in family planning for any family that falls at 185% of the poverty line or below. for those of you not familiar, the poverty line starts at a base of $10,400 annual income for one person and increases by $3600 for each additional family member. For Newmommy, Newbaby, and I, the 100% level is 17,600/year, and the 185% is $32,560/year. We fall well within that guideline. their website says they may assist with our past bills for up to three months previously- kind of like medicaid. Hopefully that maybe gets turned in to a definitely. Sister also told me most states actually have family health programs for us poor folk that fall over medicaid maximums, but that they are extremely well-hidden, so I'll be searching for those. In the meantime, Newbaby is covered at least for the next year, and it looks like Nemommy's OB bills will be taken care of for the same period. That leaves me still completely uninsured, and Newmommy not very well covered, but it's a start, and certainly better than a sharp stick in the eye.

In other news, does anyone have advice on disputing medical bills? We received a bill in May for some bloodwork Newmommy had done back in October. This was outside of Medicaid's 90 day limit, so we've been trying to work with the lab and see what can be done- so far we've determined that they have no payment plan, no forgiveness plan, and apparently low levels of patience. Should we just refuse to pay due to improper billing practices, or is there another way to go about it? $2300 for a glucose test sounds like pricegouging to say the least.

IUD OMG

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 20:37:44 GMT

Holy cow. Newmommy got back from the doctor's today, and dropped quite a bomb. Because she plans on breastfeeding for the next 10-12 months, and after that will need to go on pills for her PCOS, she had decided to get an IUD instead of taking the "mini-pill" for now and upgrading to the full-fledged version when Newbaby is weaned. What we didn't expect was that it would be almost $1200 to get the thing put in. Seriously, doctors need to have price lists in their offices. This is the second time something like this has happened. Back in October, Newmommy had some routine bloodwork done and we ended up having to pay over $2300. Equally annoying is the fact that a family of 3 can make no more than $538/month and have no more than $3000 in liquid assets if they want to qualify for medicaid. Considering paying for similar insurance ourselves would cost nearly $800/month, I don't know what the government was thinking when they set those income limits. I couldn't barely pay our rent with 538/month, let alone feed and clothe my wife and child.

Bloody healthcare.

Dedicated

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 17:47:52 GMT

Newbaby was dedicated during church yesterday. For those not familiar with the process, it's often likened to Catholic Baptism. Basically, Newmommy and I carried him to the pulpit at the beginning of the service, accompanied by his godmommy, the Pastor said a few words on how Baptism is a sacrament better saved for when a child can make his/her own decisions about faith, and that Dedication is Newmommy and I promising to raise our child as a Christian, he blessed Newbaby, and an older lady of the congregation gave us a rose to symbolize the congregation's pledge of support. The whole thing took about 5-10 minutes, then the service continued like any normal service at that church. In short, with the exception of those close to our family, it could be viewed as "Nothing Special." In fact, even some of those close seemed to treat it as such.

My in-laws are a heavily liturgical bunch- Catholics, Lutherans, and Congregationlists to the last drop- and have all been baptized during their second or third month of life. When we crazy protestants first mentioned the Dedication, they had all kinds of questions- Does he need a Christening gown?(ew, no.) Should we send out invitations?(If you like...) Do we have a party afterwards?(does Mexican for lunch count?) Is it the same thing as baptism?(No.) This all culminated to Newmommy's godmother sending a congratulations card because she couldn't find one that said "Dedication" on it (My mother had no difficulty doing so, but that's a story for another time). She, like most of Newmommy's extended family, was congenial and genteel about this little fact, found the most appropriate card she could, and wrote her own little note in- I think there was a gift involved, too, but I don't remember what it was. My mother-in-law, on the other hand, decided congenial made no sense when Snide was an option. In her I'm-pretending-to-joke-but-am-actually-serious voice, she said "I don't think this is a real thing." I was rather frustrated, and really wanted to bust out my Bible- it's a seminary student's prerogative, after all- and show her that no where does it discuss baptism of anyone under the age of 30, let alone below the age of accountability. On the contrary, Jesus Himself was "consecrated" when he was 41 days old (Luke 2:22-23, Leviticus 12:3-4) and not Baptized till He was around 30( Luke 3:21-22, among others). Lo and behold, Newbaby was exactly 41 days old (he's 6 weeks today) at his dedication, almost as though we were following Biblical standards!

I talked it over with my dad, who was raised Catholic yet had each of us dedicated in various Protestant Churches, and he said his family was a little confused, but they just went with it, and were supportive. After giving myself some time to breathe- aided by the in-laws' early exit- I decided it wasn't worth it to fight over something that the other party isn't even capable of understanding. Still, it got me thinking; why do people go through religious ceremonies? My in-laws certainly didn't raise my wife explicitly Christian, she didn't accept Christ until she was 19, and the Jury's still out on her brother. Yet they insisted on baptizing them, sending them through confirmation, and were appalled when she and I wanted to get married by a Justice of the Peace and postpone the "real" ceremony till later (we ended up not doing this) because it wasn't a real wedding unless it was held in a church- preferably one built prior to the Civil War. They don't espouse Christian morals, yet her father was a Deacon at the church. Christianity seems more like a social network or something done to keep up appearances for them.

On the other end of the spectrum are my parents, who got married at a courthouse for starters. We left a church when I was younger, even though they wanted dad to become an elder, because my parents didn't feel that it was a Christian atmosphere anymore. They supported Newmommy and I when we decided to get married, regardless of where we did it. And above all, they tried to instill good morals in us- morals that dictated we never went to church, joined a Bible Study, attended Christian functions, or whatever, for networking purposes, or for any form of selfish gain. When we were dedicated, it's because my parents wanted to raise us as Christian, when Newmommy was baptized, it's because it was the proper thing to do.

Why do you do your "Church stuff?"

So Freakin' proud!

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 15:55:12 GMT

This article says that Newbaby is pretty far ahead of schedule. Either that or me and the babycenter folks have different definitions of "Shakily," and "Not for long." While playing with Newbaby yesterday, his head fell backwards a bit. Normally, this leads to his mouth gaping open and closing shut, as he apparently tries to pull himself up with his teeth, and eventually the head snaps forward and down again. This time, when his head was about halfway back to the "resting point," it stopped and reversed directions. Newbaby quite fluidly brought his head to a vertical position, and held it there without any difficulty for a good 2-3 minutes. After that, he got a little shaky, and eventually let it down, but he most certainly had control, even moving his head from side to side. He also has begun lifting up to look at me or Newmommy while lying on his back, something the article describes as a talent for "especially strong" 6-8 week-olds. He's still 4 days shy of that 6 week mark, and he's already considered especially strong for that age. I know 4 days doesn't sound like much, but when you've only been alive for 38, that's a pretty darn long time. Proportionally, to add the same percentage to my age would take 2 full years, and if I were developmentally ahead of the average person 2 years older than me, that would be some pretty intense development- granted, there isn't much development to be done from the age of 19 to 21, but the point stands.

We got him his first pets yesterday, 2 russian dwarf hamsters. If they only live the average 18 months, then he probably will have no recollection of them, but I figure we'll just replace them with similar looking rodents til he's about 5, and then they can go live on the "hamster farm" when he gets a puppy . I'm totally kidding. I actually think the death of a pet is probably the best way to explain death to a child, and giving said pet a "proper burial" helps the kid cope a whole lot better than some bogus farm story. Plus, I'm going to spend the next 18 months lobbying for an upgrade to a sugar-glider, hedgehog, or some sort of reptile- much more manly pets, and I do love a manly 19-month old.

5 week Checkup

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 04:44:53 GMT

Newbaby's 5 week checkup was today. He's now 9 lbs, 6 oz, and 22.5 inches. This puts him 4 ounces and a half inch bigger than his daddy was at birth. It also means that he's holding steady at around the 75-85th percentile of weight and length for age. It's pretty dang early, but if he stays steady on this track, he'll end up at 6'1 and 185 lbs, just like daddy . I know it's a distant goal, but just interesting that he's currently on track to look like me .

Pics!!!

In other news, since getting the mortgage loan rejected, Newmommy and I have decided to re-arrange some stuff. In the process, turns out our bed, the Newbaby's crib, and one of our couches are all pointing north- something which is apparently Feng Shui. We've added another bookshelf for my constantly growing library( mostly theology stuff, nothing most would be interested in), a coffee table, area rug for the coffee table, finally hung the albums covers on the wall over the TV- which is across the room from where it used to be- and in general given a completely new look to the place... something which means nothing to any of you, since you haven't seen pictures of the place, but they'll be posted once the layout is operational.

Also, I went yardsaling Saturday( with another guy from my school, a freshman... apparently yard saling is NOT a gay thing?) and bought... a LAVA LAMP!!!! I'm pretty psyched about it. Surprisingly, having album covers on the walls, rabbit ears on the TV, and a lava lamp on the bookshelf, not to mention a tiffany lamp on one of the end tables, does not make our living room look like something out of the 70s, nor does it come across stoner-ish.

Who knows, maybe I'll update again before Newbaby's next appt.

Livin' on a Prayer

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 14:28:47 GMT

Well, the visiting is a bit shy of half way done. My parents were in town last Sunday-Wednesday, and my brother and sister-in-law popped in the same weekend from Saturday-Monday. We had exactly 5 days to Pack the apartment, deliver my sermon, and recover from my parents' visit before the in-laws came to town. Newmommy's parents are... iffy. They can be the nicest people ever or, alternatively, they can make for the most awkward visitation you've ever sat through. Unlike my family, with whom conversation is easy and can be about anything, hers seem to have an agenda. It doesn't matter if you bring up current events, sports, The Dark Knight(holy Amazing!!!), the conversation is constantly being turned to what they feel needs to be done in our lives. Yesterday, about 4 hours before they came, two rather frustrating things happened. First, I left work early because my stomach was firing cannons from both ends. While locked in the bathroom, we got a call from our mortgage broker- the loan got rejected at the last minute, and there was no way to fix it. This would have just been a "Well that sucks" moment, but it was compounded by the fact that the large down payment we were planning on making had come as a gift from Newmommy's dad- meaning that he had been involved in the process leading up to the purchase, and would be very unhappy to get this news.

We braced ourselves for the attack, but surprisingly it never came. Things were discussed rationally, conversation was a little easier, and they want to go see the Dark Knight while they're here (hallelujah!!). Downside, you ask? For one thing, they're here for 2 weeks. The plan was that this week we'd be moving, and next week we have other friends coming in to town, so the time we could spend with them would be less than they might hope for. The fact that we're not moving doesn't change much, since Newbaby gets dedicated August 3, and they won't leave before that happens. This might not seem like a big deal, but my mother-in-law has officially gone baby-crazy. In the three hours following dinner, the following scenario got played out:

1) Newmommy fed Newbaby. Since we were with company, she used a blanket for privacy purposes. Mominlaw accused her of suffocating our child three times, and at one point tried to pull the blanket off- I quite literally slapped her hand away.

2) Newmommy changed Newbaby. You'd think changing a diaper wasn't really a big deal. Well, Mominlaw wanted to share her trade secrets or something, because she ran into the bathroom, grabbed a towel, rolled it up, and placed it on his stomach- apparently to prevent him from peeing on himself. Then she proceeded to hold his arm whilst Newmommy changed him- a process that took all of 45 seconds.

3) Mominlaw got to hold Newbaby. you would've hoped that would shut her up- actually it yielded a constant babbling stream of barely-understandable words. She talked to him nonstop, mostly in question form (Have I mentioned I can't stand when people ask babies questions?... with a few minor exceptions). Also, in the space of an hour, I heard abut 20 different adjectives for my son, including- wonderful, fantastic, perfect, great, fabulous, doll-baby, and honeypot. Yeah, honeypot.

4) As we loaded him in to the car( it's averaging 98 degrees around here these days), she first spent 10 seconds rapidly explaining why we shouldn't let the metal clasps from his car seat touch his legs- you mean metal gets hot? Then once he was in, she asked us about 12 times whether we were sure he was okay sitting in "that position"- that position being with his head drooped a bit because he's 4 weeks and can't hold it up yet.

We're hoping that it was a one-time, meeting the grandson thing, but man, if that continues for 12 more days... that child may grow up without a father.

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 03:49:08 GMT

To get to the other slide! In Luis Sachar's book "Dogs don't tell Jokes," The main character recalls this being the first joke he ever learned, and he thought it was hilarious, even though it was not till much later that he heard the original and realized why the first one was supposed to be funny. I'm afraid Newbaby will be experiencing something similar. I am about a semester and a half in to my Koine (Greek) studies, and a while ago I shared my concern with my professor that I was having difficulty memorizing all of this stuff. It wasn't that it didn't make sense, I just could not commit that much to memory. Well, unfortunately, my professor is very aware of the budding theater career I had in high school, and the fact that Newmommy has nicknamed me "The human jukebox," so he has difficulty believing that. Our efforts to come up with a way to make memorizing Greek similar to memorizing lines/songs failed until... Zondervan to the Rescue!!! A very short while ago, they realeased an audio CD entitled "Sing and Learn New Testament Greek." Dr. Greekprof has decided to use me as the test subject for this new product, and I must say it's helping. And the music/Windows Media Player "visualizer" have Newbaby rapt with attention. I'm sure he'll be singing along no problem by the time he's 3. The play list is as follows (Italics is the tune it is sung to):

1. Alphabet song Alphabet Song
2. Article Song Three Blind Mice
3. Noun Endings Song The Farmer in the Dell
4. Indicative Verb Endings Song Yankee Doodle
5. General Verb Forms Song I've been working on the Railroad
6. Participle Song Old McDonald
7. Infinitives Song For he's a jolly good Fellow.
8. Imperitives Song Row, Row, Row
9. Contract Forms Song Twinkle, Twinkle
10. Eimi Song Mexican Hat Dance
11. Prepositions Joshua fought the battle of Jericho

Considering Newmommy and I both detest singing children's songs, and the closest thing to a lullaby I sing to him at night is "Music of the Night" from Phantom of the Opera, it seems unlikely that he will learn the original words to the first 10 for some time to come (I actually don't know the Mexican hat dance words, or I might sing that one for him). The one exception may be the Alphabet song, as I would like for my child to read. Who knows, maybe he'll be bilingual, and one of the languages will be one that nobody speaks .

OY Gevault!

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 18:13:00 GMT

I went to grab some lunch around noon today, and I saw one of the craziest things: a Tiny little girl- probably about 5 years old- with a cell phone! No, this was not mommy's phone, mommy was using hers. No, it was not one of those 4 button phones- on button for home, one for mommy, one for daddy, and one for... I don't know who. It was a Full-fledged cell-phone, a T-mobile to be exact. Seeing this little girl walk around with a phone, i couldn't help but imagine her making a call and saying "Gwampa, guess what! Yow in my fabe fibe!" It's really kind of sad the things we give our children. I have seen clothes in the little girls' sections of stores that I have no other way to describe than "sexy"- all pedophile connotations aside, it frustrates me that our kids can't be kids any longer. They have clothes that I don't think ANYONE should be wearing in public, children's cell-phones and pagers, children's pepper spray, Barbie/hotwheels/cars Computers, and several other items that the average adult didn't have 10 years ago. I've compiled some of the more ridiculous ones, and am proposing solutions for each:
1) The Cell phone or pager. When I was a kid, I had to get permission to use the home phone, could only use it to call boys or relatives, and was not allowed to call my friends just for the sake of talking- only if I needed to make plans/arrange for a ride/ perform some other form of business transaction. My mother taught me to say "___ residence, this is ___ speaking" when I answered the phone(which, by the way, is a rotary phone that they still have) and if I didn't do it, I wasn't allowed to answer it again for a week. Now, cell phones are sooo convenient, there's no reason (other than the bill) not to have one! Plus, Junior capitalists NEED them for EMERGENCIES. Well for one thing, your child really should never be left in a situation where he/she does not have a familiar adult who is readily accessible. However, if you feel it is imperative for your darling's safety, give her your old phone next time you upgrade. A de-activated cell phone, on which you have neither a plan nor pre-paid minutes, is still capable of calling 911

2) The slutty clothes. When my little sister was around kindergarten age, my mother had difficulty finding her skirts that would fit her waist AND reach her knees. This was partly because my family has some ridiculously long legs, and partly because they don't make skirts as long as they used to. We can't shorten our children's legs, however that does not give us the okay to buy them some crazy miniskirts. I saw one the other day that couldn't have been more than 5 inches top to bottom, and it was designed for a 7-8 year old. The answer here is pretty dang easy- don't let your daughter look like a skank! Luckily, little boys clothes are fairly okay, although I'd take a look at some of the graphic tees and figure out whether you are letting your child walk around with the latest slang for penis emblazoned on his chest.

3) Computers. They are just about a necessity these days, and if you're reading this it means you have access to one. However, your child does not need one that looks like Lightning McQueen, Winnie-the-Pooh, or Barbie. If you're worried about your computer not being kid-friendly, set up a children's user name- it's pretty easy to do from Mac or PC. Then tell them if they want to use the computer, they click on this icon (Password protect your account to be on the safe side). Set up parental controls in the internet if you let them use it at all, install a few kids' games, and make sure it is in a place where they know they are in constant danger of being caught if they use it wrong- and be sure to monitor them. This will help your kids stay out of trouble from the time they can click on Dora until the day they graduate high school.

4) Fashion trends. I'm of the belief that YOU don't need to spend an extra $86 to get the jeans with the holes in them. If you like them that much, buy a pair of $9 Canyon River Blues (that's Sears Brand), a pair of scissors, and a jug of non-color safe bleach, and go to town. You'll still have $60 left over, which is like 3 weeks worth of diapers. Same goes for your children. If I can't put an entire outfit of new clothes on myself or child for $20 at Old Navy, you'd better believe we're headed to Target, then Wal-Mart, then Goodwill until we find somewhere that I can.

5) top-of-the-line equipment. You will cringe when your preschooler gets those $100 Nike Jordan AJF3s dirty jumping in the puddles after his first Basketball game. And seeing her use her entire Horse-riding outfit, complete with $40 crop, to climb trees won't be that fun either. But the real killer will be when they both decide after one lesson/practice that what they really want to do is Karate. See, tuesday afternoon they saw Arthur playing basketball and DW riding a horse, and it became their lives' dreams. But when they saw the Ninja Turtles kicking the butts of Shredder and his goons on Saturday morning, they received a whole new revelation. Bet you can't wait till the first time they watch The Mighty Ducks!

Seriously, my parents probably spent several thousand dollars on toys and equipment that is currently hanging out in their attic, and they never got me anything on the above list. I'll bet if, every time you thought about getting one of the above things or some other overpriced item, you bought them something for 10% of the price, put half the difference in a savings account for them, and the other half in your retirement fund, you'd be ready to move to Florida by the time they graduate, and they'd have already bought their first car and still have enough left over for college and perhaps a down payment on a house.

Do the Mushu!

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 03:14:48 GMT

Two random Movie references in two days, I'm losing my originality! Newbaby thought he met the competition today- who he actually met was himself. It was interesting watching him have a stare-down with the baby in the mirror, but we had to cut it short when he got rather upset and started crying- I hope he doesn't keep reacting like that when he figures out it's him. He also had his first REAL BATH, and after the initial shock, he actually dealt with it. It wasn't exactly a love, he was more complacent than anything else, but it sure beats him flailing about whilst I try to thouroughly wash him without 1) dropping him, 2) getting the umbilical cord soapy or watery, or 3) knocking the baby tub over.

Mary from Momaroo has asked to feature my story about the church lady, so look for that soon on your momaroo front page. In the mean time, I have compiled with a list of people who should not, under any circumstances, dispense parenting advice:

1) People who already know that your morals/cultural values/beliefs are so vastly different that your parenting styles could not possibly match up. Sorry Mr. Secular Humanist, I want my child to actually believe in something.
2) People who do not have children. No, your little sister/nephew/kid you babysat one time does not qualify. Until you are responsible for that child's needs for 18-25 years, it's no dice.
3) Parents with younger children. The fact that you spank your three year old and send him to time out in the pink chair with no toys when he says "stupid" does not help your friend whose 16 year old just came home drunk from her boyfriend's house.
4) The grandparents. I will give a disclaimer on this one, grandparents are allowed to advise, but only after they've been asked. Moms, Dads, we are products of your parenting styles, we remember pretty well how you did stuff, and by now most of us know why you did it, too. If we want a refresher course, we'll give you a call. Otherwise, try to avoid jumping in. Besides, you can't exactly tell us to be softer on our kids (You can't spank him!) Than you were on us (Just wait till your father gets home, you'll be tasting leather!)
5) Complete and utter strangers. Okay, I realize that I've never personally met any of the authors of the books I've been reading about pregnancy, babies, and the first 5 years of life, but someone respected them enough to print them, and most of them come recommended by my mother, who did a bang-up job of raising me and my older brother and sister, and continues to do so with the 3 younger ones. Plus, if I don't want to hear what the Baby Wise, What to Expect, or Attachment people have to say, I can just shut the book. Random lady on the street that tells me bouncing my child to sleep is bad for him- who are you? If I bark like a dog, will you go away?
6) Teachers. Sorry, Professor, I was up till 4 AM with a fussy baby, so no, I'm not totally awake for your 8 AM class. No, I did not "put him on a schedule" so I could "continue to maximize my time" like you suggested.
7) Employers. See above, it's pretty much the same thing without the PhD.
8) The child's siblings. Regardless of whether you have children, no parent wants to hear why their kids are better than them. If they do, they'll ask.
9) High School Parents. Sorry kids, I don't mean to be profiling, but you don't have your HS diplomas yet and you have a 3 year old running around your parents' houses while you're sitting through the reproduction unit in Biology- and they won't even give you lab credit for him! Second disclaimer of the list, if you are a former high school parent and are now a... "traditional" parent, you likely have valuable advice. If you still live with your parents... not so much. Unless it's the taking-care-of-the-elderly-parents variety.
and 10) The Spears family. Just... no.